I need help removing her.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
