I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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