i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
