C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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