It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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