just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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