i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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