It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i now understand why vodka
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
