Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
