I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
