writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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