i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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