I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
