I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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