i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
