I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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