I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
