did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
false alarm, still single
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
