Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
