my vag is so smooth its legendary
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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