Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
