My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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