Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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