I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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