I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
