Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
