I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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