Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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