We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
