Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
