I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
