Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
