Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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