im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
