mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
