i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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