Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
