i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
