i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
