that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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