yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
