it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Randomize
