The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
