Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
