the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
