I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
