dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
