susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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