end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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