doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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