Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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