Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
