don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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