please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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