Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
