I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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