So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
