two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize