Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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