Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
