: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
