my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
