Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
