I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
