I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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