How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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