I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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