I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
