There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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