it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
