I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
