How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
