so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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