was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
