I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it was like eating out sand paper
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
