Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
