besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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