i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
