I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
