I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
